Month: December 2019

My Church Back Home in Arkansas

You’ll know yours is a Redneck Church If: The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the menbers knows how to play one. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to […]

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New Year – New Goals

                     1 My goal for 2019 was to lose  20 pounds.  Only  35 to go! 2. Ate salad for dinner.  Mostly croutons & tomatoes.  Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And cheese.   FINE, it was a pizza.  I ATE A PIZZA! […]

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Red is Positive

One thing about lads from Ireland is that their hearts and humor are always in the right place!     Jimmy Murphy, a City Councillor from Dublin, was asked on a live local radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.   His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause […]

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Twas The Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And […]

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A Christmas Carol Parrot

​ One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. “How do I get him to sing?” The young man asked, excitedly. “Simply […]

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Christmas Shopping

Frank and Dianne were in a local shopping center just before Christmas. Dianne suddenly noticed that Frank was missing, and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone. Dianne asked, “Frank, where are you? You know that we have lots to do.” Frank said, “Do you remember the jewelry […]

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Stress over the Holidays

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience.  Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘Half empty or half full?’  She fooled them all. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a […]

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A Remote outpost

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.The nervous sergeant said, ‘Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here […]

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