Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”
80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All
responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.
“Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.
“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-eight,” he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped
“Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us
all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit,
turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply,
“I outlived all them assholes” -and he calmly returned to his seat.