If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.

If a Republican is queer, he quietly leads his life.

If a Democrat is queer, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation.

If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care
of him.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping
for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest
of us pay for his.

If a Republican is unhappy with an election, he grumbles and goes to
work the next day.

If a Democrat is unhappy with an election, he burns down a
Starbucks, throws rocks at cops and takes two-weeks off for therapy.