Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or ; China …
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala …
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games ( just not the NBA ), or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard ; sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help