How to Stimulate the Economy

Drink more American Wine

Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or ; China …

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala …

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games ( just not the NBA ), or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard ; sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help