Suddenly, a cow runs out onto the road, and a limo driving late at night, hits it head on and the car comes to a stop. The woman in the back seat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the chauffeur, “You get out and check on that poor cow. You were driving.” So the […]
An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven. The woman said she would try her best. The Angel visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up […]
#1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. #2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit. #3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off. #4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work. #5 – […]
from 2nd Peter: According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having […]
* Golf balls are like eggs – they’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. * The pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you must have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there. * It’s amazing how a golfer who never […]
In 1986 a farmer, Lenard Hill, took his own life on the morning his farm was to go to a courthouse auction, believing that his life insurance would pay enough to save the cotton and soybean plantation that had been in his family for more than 100 years. A complete stranger in Queens N.Y. read […]
A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition. UP This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’ It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v]. It’s easy to […]
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.