A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?” The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.” “Holy crap,” the guy replies. “You actually […]
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.
If you’re like many of us, you may wonder from time to time if your parenting tactics are working. If you want some ideas for helping your children to become successful – in their own terms – check out this video:
Should I Really Join Facebook?
When I bought my first smart phone, I thought about the 30-years in business with thousands of fellow employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up, under duress, for Twitter and Facebook, so my kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I
could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except
the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my toolbox.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean, the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that
gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely
tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then,
if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship…Now, When I get really lost I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross
streets and, while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use our cordless phones. We have had them for 4 years, but I still
haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around looking under pilloes, digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me.
They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.
You would think they could settle on something themselves, but this sudden “Paper
or Plastic?” Every time I check out, just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags
to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them.
When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am
bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot.”
P.S. I know some of you
are not over 70. I figured your sense of humour could handle it….We senior citizens don’t need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the
garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Are Your children into playing online games? Soon after we bought our son his first gaming system we realized that this new device was also a new babysitter. No boyfriends to worry about. No need to purchase her favorite snacks every Saturday. This $300 marvel of electronic games was awesome. Does your family have a […]
Do you worry about your home and love ones when you leave for work? Are you planning a Summer getaway and concerned about your property when you’re away? Leave home this Summer without all the worries – grab the Wireless Ring Spotlight Camera and you can get alerts on your phone whenever someone approaches your […]
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