Category: Uncategorized

The Perfect Sandwich

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man. Ben Franklin  

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Red is Positive

One thing about lads from Ireland is that their hearts and humor are always in the right place!     Jimmy Murphy, a City Councillor from Dublin, was asked on a live local radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.   His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause […]

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Twas The Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And […]

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Christmas Shopping

Frank and Dianne were in a local shopping center just before Christmas. Dianne suddenly noticed that Frank was missing, and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone. Dianne asked, “Frank, where are you? You know that we have lots to do.” Frank said, “Do you remember the jewelry […]

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Stress over the Holidays

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience.  Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘Half empty or half full?’  She fooled them all. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a […]

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A Remote outpost

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert .During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.The nervous sergeant said, ‘Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here […]

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A Wish to Live Forever

I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish. “I wish to live forever,” I said. “Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that particular wish.” “Fine,” I said, “then I want to die the day after our United States Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men […]

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The Congressman and the Shepard

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2019 AUDI advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell […]

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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Prayer

By a 15-year-old school kid who got an A+ for this entry (TOTALLY AWESOME)! The Lord’s Prayer is not allowed in most U.S. Public schools any more. A kid in Minnesota wrote the following NEW School Prayer: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule. For this great […]

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