A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?” The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.” “Holy crap,” the guy replies. “You actually […]
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. “How do I get him to sing?” The young man asked, excitedly. “Simply […]
MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS By Tiger Woods ______________________________ ______________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan & Michelle Obama Illustrated by Michael Moore Foreword by George Soros ______________________________ __________ MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA By “The Rev Jesse Jackson” & “The Rev Al Sharpton” ______________________________ ________ THINGS I […]
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance […]
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: “Pardon […]
I was in a Starbucks on a recent Saturday morning when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to let go of some gas. The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. […]
Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: —- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. – Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children. — The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus […]
A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go see Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures the next morning. His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before. “Is that so?” asked the first old guy. “Did he […]
Jennifer, a manager at a Big Department store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would […]
A Little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. ” Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he […]