1. Money cannot buy happiness – but it’s far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle 2. Forgive your enemy – but remember the asshole’s name. 3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble – they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Alcohol does not solve any […]
A few old friends were enjoying a round of golf when one mentioned that he was going to go see Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures the next morning. His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before. “Is that so?” asked the first old […]
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the […]
“You don’t need God anymore; you have us Democrats.” ~Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006) And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the “Mother Superior Moron”: “We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what’s in it..” ~Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2010 ) (As one Doctor said: “That is also the perfect definition of a […]
Instead of those $1500 suits maybe Politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors! Also, all politicians should serve only two terms, one term in office and one term in prison.
It snowed last night… 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman. 8:15 – So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 – The […]
The warm December day was really quite beautiful, and an afternoon beer started me to thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, “Nothing.” She then said, “That’s what you did yesterday!” I replied, “I WASN’T DONE , SO I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING RIGHT NOW.” The […]
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s mini-van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. ‘I realize […]
How does your family spend Christmas ? Watch this entertaining clip from a surprise Christmas family gathering!